Feminist Weddings

So, in my introductory post, I mentioned that I am getting married this year. It's on my mind a lot, and at the moment, much of my feminist thought is directed towards the marriage process (much as, when I was immigrating to America, much of my focus was on feminism and immigrant rights).

Hey, I'm in good company. Via Feministe, I learned that Feministing's Jessica is also getting married, and guess what, she's getting bullshit sexist criticism for it. "What a fucking idiot... Who is this... guy, the ultimate Beta male pussy or what... Why the hell would anyone marry that annoying bitch i'll never know... As far as the groom goes, this is already a same sex marriage" says the first six fucking comments. (Not linking, fuck them).

I don't have much to say at the moment. My wedding day is six months away, and I have a shitload of feminist thought about it. This post is to say, it's coming. Feministe's criticism of the 'Bridezilla' trope is spot-on. Go read it. I particularly enjoyed:

Women are still largely charged with organizing the wedding, because it’s supposed to be their day. Wedding planning, for a lot of couples, is a huge endeavor — for a lot of women, it’s the equivalent of a part-time job on top of whatever they already do for work. But if all that pressure ends up making them crack just a little, they’re crazed selfish biatches.

Not that I’m defending the bad behavior of some women in planning their weddings. Assholes are assholes, and there are a fair number of assholes who eventually get married and, unsurprisingly, act like assholes in the process. The ability to even freak out about your wedding is a function of socioeconomic and cultural privilege.

But when we get to the point where all we need as evidence that a woman is a selfish jerk who thinks of her wedding as Princess’s Special Day is the fact that she’s a woman, I think we’ve gone a little too far down Misogyny Lane.